unsent letter #221
i
love
you
undyingly
in vast amounts
it doesn't even make sense
to me
or anyone else
how i carry around your ghost
but there we were dancing tonight
and i heard you laughing
as the band played that song
about henry rollins
yelling at everyone all day long
and i loved you
how we collapsed into the
old worn couch at the coffeehouse
shared ice cream
and drove home with all the windows
down
and
i love you
in spite of the weather
in spite of the fact that
sometimes i need you
and you're not around
and the fact that you don't know
what you want
from minute to minute
don't want to be touched
some days
make me throw up my hands,
roll my eyes
or simply scream
in exasperation
these are the things
that make you everything
imperfectly
perfect
so that when we slip into bed
its a puzzle
sliding into place
and when i whisper things
i need you to know
it doesn't matter if you hear me
because
your heart
always knows
and i love you
on saturday
on tuesday
when i'm angry
when you tell me who you dreamed of
and it wasn't me
when you don't say goodbye
when you show me your darkside
on monday morning
when you're still asleep
when you whinge
and your smile is one
of the things...
your eyes
your laughter
your voice
your love of rain
and your drunken 2 a.m. voice
are things...
when you give the dog a bath
or massage your mum's arthritic shoulder
help the boy next door with his homework
make me cds
believe in me
hold the baby from down the street
when you come close to crying
from reading some
heartbreaking thing
or ride with the lady next door
to take her husband to work
so she doesn't have to take that long ride home at night alone
when all i see is darkness and you tell me
everything is going to be okay...
these are the things
that show me your heart
that shines
your soul washed clean
the love you have to give
these are the things
that i see
that make you
easyto love.
iloveyouundyinglyin vast amountsit doesn't even make senseto meor anyone elsehow i carry around your ghostbut there we were dancing tonightand i heard you laughingas the band played that songabout henry rollinsyelling at everyone all day longand i loved youhow we collapsed into theold worn couch at the coffeehouseshared ice creamand drove home with all the windowsdownandi love youin spite of the weatherin spite of the fact thatsometimes i need youand you're not aroundand the fact that you don't knowwhat you wantfrom minute to minutedon't want to be touchedsome daysmake me throw up my hands,roll my eyesor simply screamin exasperationthese are the thingsthat make you everythingimperfectlyperfectso that when we slip into bedits a puzzlesliding into placeand when i whisper thingsi need you to knowit doesn't matter if you hear mebecauseyour heartalways knowsand i love youon saturdayon tuesdaywhen i'm angrywhen you tell me who you dreamed ofand it wasn't mewhen you don't say goodbyewhen you show me your darksideon monday morningwhen you're still asleepwhen you whingeand your smile is oneof the things...your eyesyour laughteryour voiceyour love of rainand your drunken 2 a.m. voiceare things...when you give the dog a bathor massage your mum's arthritic shoulderhelp the boy next door with his homeworkmake me cdsbelieve in mehold the baby from down the streetwhen you come close to cryingfrom reading someheartbreaking thingor ride with the lady next doorto take her husband to workso she doesn't have to take that long ride home at night alonewhen all i see is darkness and you tell meeverything is going to be okay...these are the thingsthat show me your heartthat shinesyour soul washed cleanthe love you have to givethese are the thingsthat i seethat make youeasyto love.
unsent letter # tenzillioneightytwo
we don't have as much need
for anonymity
anymore
but then again
there's always something
we're trying to hide
from someone
somehow we've circled around
back to the beginning
but then again
we're a little bit older now
a little bit smarter
a little more jaded
a little less likely
to jump in
with eyes closed
to love
not that we ever got out
your voice is still my
favorite part of the day
how we sit here
laughing, arguing, undressing
each other
eating imaginary omelettes
like
we've always been
best friends
and technically
i don't belong to you
she has that title
and i have boys here and there
writing me poems
taking me to sushi
wanting to make memories
and looking into my kaleidoscope eyes
to tell me
how they unfold
so you don't belong to me
as far as anyone else is concerned
but what if
when we first met
we just went
too fast
destined to crash
what if we blew all our money
on one night in vegas
the glitter and shine
of a city that never sleeps
and now
we sit on a sidewalk
with nothing in our pockets
looking like hell
but when our eyes meet
i still think you look like
a rockstar
still drown in your smile
and you kiss me beautiful
as rain starts to fall
i've loved you
hated you
everything in between
we took a two month vow of silence
and now i have
my best friend
back again...
