Unsent letter
Just needed to tell you the secrets of my fingertips
Even though I know I have become some
Invisible ghost in an imagined history so sweet
And storybook
That children still beg for the tales
Of some tomboy princess and her
Unlikely lover
And the way these weeks are weaving themselves into heavy wool like the miscolored blankets my grandmother knitted so heavy they crushed you in and under the only warmth your body could create
Because the windows were cracked and left gaps
In the winter
And the doors never locked
And no one was home but me…
And years pass by and I’m still breathing
Loneliness and my legs still look lonely
In these sheets
The mathematics of angles laced like a corset on a
Bulging globe that arcs in ways I didn’t predict
With my newfound intuition
But history holds secrets people
Do not want told and I hold hands
I was never meant to hold
And I see you in the sink
Blood mixing with water
Mocking my veins as they hold me in
Pumping away at nothing
And we’re trying to tear down the berlin wall
With rubber hammers and unholy hearts
Our Sundays still shared in cubbyholes
Under the stairs
You never told me of your nightmares
But today I had one
That I knew must be yours
Running in terror
Like slow motion music
In a movie
I can’t stand to watch
As things start to freeze over and my
Fish are trapped under ice
I fight to forget but the eyes
The eyes look up at me
And in the absence of a place to be
In the middle of nowhere
Tied to the traintracks with you
Sounds better than some moonlit city
Where I walk around alone
And free.
9/24/04
